Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
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