wrigley field is MILF paradise
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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