well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
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I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I still have a little drunk in my system
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Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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