even my farts smell like vagina
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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