he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
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It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
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I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
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