New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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