so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize