If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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