It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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