Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize