She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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