he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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