Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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