i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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