just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs are out for the taking
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I forgot wine drunk hurts
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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