im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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