I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
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i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
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Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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