Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
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I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
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