just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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