normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize