Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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