i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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