i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
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low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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