She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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