I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
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