My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
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