Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize