I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize