He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize