Just fell off a train. Bad.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize