Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
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He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I just found puke in my bra..
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
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I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize