i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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