So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
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He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
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Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
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