I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize