you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
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the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
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candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
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