is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize