he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Actions speak louder than pants.
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She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
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sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
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