I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
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Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
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I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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