The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Randomize