I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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