just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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