sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
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