You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize