Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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