Yo dont text me then not text me
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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