the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize