I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
one might say we're banned from that church
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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