actually, I'm a sock model
I just gift wrapped bread.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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