i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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