I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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